Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Photoshop turns 18; arrested for displaying irrational exuberance after birthday party

Adobe Photoshop was arrested early this morning after apparently overindulging while celebrating its 18th birthday, which took place yesterday. The image editing software, which was first officially released on February 19, 1990, was defacing Ansel Adams's classic photo "Moonrise Over Hernandez, NM," according to police. "I just wanted to apply my unsharp mask, officer. Is that a crime?" is what Photoshop was heard to say as it was hauled into a Windows-less cell.

Sources say Photoshop had been on an image-editing spree the entire night, including desaturating color image files, fixing linear distortion, and using the cloning tool for nefarious purposes. "Just because it's come of age doesn't give Photoshop license to use Gaussian Blur irresponsibly," an inside source told us.

The evening started innocently enough, with Photoshop blowing out the luminescent candles on its Layers cake. But soon, grain alcohol was served, and the rest of the evening was a blur. Soon Photoshop was seen zooming around town, turning RAW files into JPEGs with buddies Graphics Converter, Paint Shop Pro, and The Gimp.

"Clearly, Photoshop has problems and needs to be saved. It needs more than an easy fix or healing tool," notes Photoshop's manager, Creative Suite. "But let's not distort the situation. It was just one night. I'm sure a new, enhanced, and fully corrected Photoshop will come out of this."

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